Tips & Tricks to Write Your Wedding Vows
Published 6th July 2020
When I first start talking to couples, one of the main things that they ummm & ahhh over is “Do we need to say personal vows?” Technically, no you don’t. But if I’m being honest here, it’s one of the best parts of the ceremony. It may be tearjerker vows, or something to make you laugh! – Either way, your guests love to hear them, I love to hear them, and more importantly the person you’re standing in front of saying them to, LOVES to hear them!
So here are some Tips & Tricks to help you with your Wedding Vows.
You MUST start!
Don’t wait until the last minute! I go through an exercise with my couples where we do a brain dump, or brain storm. It’s the easiest way to get everything out of your head and onto paper. You’re basically making a list of things you know and love about your partner. Things about your relationship you remember, important events, things that make you laugh, moments that you’ve had, the list could go on and on, but you get what I mean..
Keep this note handy for a few days and add to it every time you think of something.
Get Inspired!
Start paying attention to quotes or lines from movies that you love. Or a song that makes you think of your spouse. These aren’t to copy or insert into the vow necessarily. But more a way to inspire you, and get you thinking. They provide great content to help move through the next few steps.
Interview yourself!
You could type out the answers to the questions, or record it with a voice memo. Here are some examples of questions to ask yourself.
- What was your life like before you met your partner?
- Where and how did you meet?
- Why are you choosing to marry them? Why them and no one else?
- What is special about this relationship in comparison to any other?
- What do you appreciate about them?
- How do they make you feel special?
- What quirks do they have? What gets on your nerves?
- What values do you share?
- How do they support you?
- What have you accomplished together? What do you want to accomplish together?
- What have you learnt from each other? What challenges have you faced? Have these shaped or transformed your relationship?
- What do you do for fun? What is the funniest moment you’ve had together? How do they make you laugh?
- What’s important to you in a Marriage? What does being Married mean to you?
- What do you want to promise each other?
- What do you want your vows to look like? What expectations do you have of your vows?
Themes
By now you should have plenty of material to start looking for themes. By answering the questions above truthfully, and by doing the brainstorm – you pretty much have already written your vows. You just need to put it together. Start looking for themes in your responses from above. Group them together so they make sense, and the words flow…
This is your time to tell that one person what you want to say, what promises you want to make. It’s your time to shine. The thing about these vows, and making them personal is just that. They need to reflect you, and your relationship. So if you’re a humorous couple then it’s ok to express that here.
Write it out
Read it out loud, and again.
Make your edits, and read again.
Once it feels right to you… voila! You have your vows.
As a celebrant I get my couples to send me their vows which I put onto a keepsake card, so that way you don’t have to worry about the stress of remembering to bring them with you. Take the time to talk to your celebrant if you’re stuck. And remember, as long as you’re up there, with a goofy looking grin on your face, saying I love you. You can’t go wrong.
About the Author: Ella Gannon - Ella the Marriage Celebrant is known to be a bit of a wordsmith, is based in Brisbane but will travel, and says, "I started marrying people in the playground when I was in primary school and writing ceremonies - discovering I could make it a career was my Christmas!"
